“It gives you copious red saliva, and you spit a lot.”
“I don’t think I have any vices.”
“You should acquire a couple; it’d be good for you.”
“Mm, alright. Got any ideas?”
“20 year olds?”
“Nah, they don’t do it for me. Besides,”—and here she favored me with a flashing glance from her big green windows to the soul—”why would I be interested in a callow, inexperienced 20 year old, when I have access to a handsome man who knows what he’s doing?”
“You could form their nascent sexuality.”
“I’ll think about it. I do get offers.”
“I’m sure you do. How about betel nut?”
“What’s that?” she said, startled.
“It gives you copious red saliva, and you spit a lot.”
“You’ve tried this?”
“Not yet, but I want to.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“Very popular in some parts of the world. Turns your teeth black eventually.”
“I’m gonna say no.”
“Fine. You understand I’m not advocating for any particular vice, I’m just presenting possibilities.”
“Understood. And I’m just evaluating the possibilities, in order to make a wise decision.”
“Understood. Hey, I’ve got one: semi-public sex.”
“That’s a vice?”
“Sure—it’s a pleasure you wouldn’t necessarily want your mother to know about. Which is to say, a vice.”
Thoughtfully, “That could work.”
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