Goflowolfog – or, the underpinnings of reality and magick explained

A longwinded explanation of a possibly nonexistent phenomenon.

That our conscious minds bob about on vast unconscious capacity is both scientifically accepted and intuitively obvious. A widely cited—but probably apocryphal—figure holds that we use less than ten percent of our mental abilities for conscious thought; in fact, the relationship between conscious and unconscious mental capacities is too complex and variable to assess meaningfully with a tool so blunt as a ratio. But it is clear that we have a lot more going on ‘under the hood’ than we generally acknowledge. Consider, for example, an act as simple as a free throw. Factors like gravity, wind, distance, grip, and strength are assessed and synthesized instantly, and a 22-ounce ball is tossed 15 feet and landed in a 18-inch hoop, and some humans can perform this computation constantly and near perfectly. Obviously there is no conscious calculating going on—somehow, an ungoverned savant side of ourselves does all the work, with little useful assistance from ‘us.’

Similarly, some conductor continually orchestrates hormones, enzymes, cells, glands, organs, and the islets of Langerhans to keep most of us in mostly good health most of the time and again, our attempts to consciously assist this process are clumsy and often counterproductive. There is some vast computational agency working always on our behalf—residing, apparently, somewhere inside us—and it jealously excludes consciousness from its realm.

Conversely, the relationship between consciousness and the things outside our head seems relatively straightforward; we collect data with our senses in order to appraise the world around us. But a little thought shows that this relationship, too, is unequal. For example, we see a very small slice of the electromagnetic spectrum, hear very little of the range of vibratory frequencies, taste and smell relatively few chemicals and, generally, get by with a picture of the world based on a tiny percentage of the available data. Even in the range of data we are able to apprehend, we fail to consciously observe almost everything. The all-that-is presents several oceans-worth of data, and we sup with a teaspoon. It is as if, in Huxley’s phrase, consciousness works as a “reducing valve” that actively filters out information, so that the world we experience is a product of the data selected for consideration.

I contend that the reducing valve works both ways, that the relationship of consciousness to both outer and inner worlds is one of filtering and exclusion, and that the existence of a conscious mind probably depends on filtering and exclusion.

If this is the case, there is the interesting possibility that the fast and vastly powerful computing savant we house is constantly working with unknowably gigungous amounts of external data, and presumably knows far more about the world than we can consciously access. Reality, in this view, is a choice, not an inevitability. Our conscious and unconscious selection of the data we engage with creates the world we experience.

But let’s drop the faux-scholarship for a bit and consider, instead, a peculiar being that I, and at least some others, work with in order to ease our way through challenging traffic. I refer, of course, to the magickal entity Goflowolfog.

Goflowolfog: traffic management for (some of) the masses

Goflowolfog, according to that useful grimoire known as ‘the internet’, was created during a magickal workshop that took place in London, conducted by noted chaos magickian Phil Hine. He has a describable appearance, a sigil, preferred modes of action, etc. I have found no details concerning the exact method of his creation—magickal types tend to be secretive about such things—but I assume he was created and ‘charged’ in some suitably outré manner. Interestingly, and unusually, he was intentionally created for use by anyone who cares to call on him. His purpose can be derived from his name, which is a forced palindrome of ‘Go Flow’—Goflowolfog lives to keep the traffic flowing.

Goflowolfog is one of those irritating phenomena that produces little in the way of scientifically verifiable evidence forcing one to fall back, instead, on anecdote and direct experience. In my own case, I find that invoking Goflowolfog—just say his name in an invoking manner—yields fast results and that I am often efficiently extricated from seemingly stopped traffic. On the other hand, he isn’t very good at finding parking spaces (try Ganesh for this purpose). As a way of giving back, I like to donate pennies to those little change trays you sometimes see next to cash registers, and I make a point of using those pennies, if available. I reason that Goflowolfog is, presumably, pleased by improved flow of all kinds.

This is nutty of course, but as a gedankenexperiment let’s consider the possibility of an intangible, traffic-manipulating entity in the light of my hypothesis, that is, that our super-potent mental capacities are constantly assessing vast amounts of data beyond our ken. If it’s really true, then we might very well have extensive unconscious knowledge of traffic conditions outside our conscious sensory range. We might have unconscious knowledge—due, say, to the particular play of light on the underside of clouds—of an unobstructed side street. Further, we might also unconsciously possess at least the capacity to affect external matters profoundly; it’s possible, for example, that we can regulate the pace and direction of our driving in ways that subtly cue and control other drivers. It is possible, in other words, that the same subconscious abilities that instantaneously coordinate sports miracles and bodily functions can also be marshaled to direct ourselves and others in ways that reduce the traffic we encounter.

So how does Goflowolg figure into my wacky theory? I posit that ritual, visualization, spell work, affirmation, prayer, and the like are all methods for manipulating symbol, and that symbol is the ‘language’ of the unconscious! So Goflowolfog emerges as a symbolic system well-adapted for communicating my traffic desires to the super-potent unconscious. His dramatic origin, and my conscious investment in the spooky technology that produced him, facilitate conscious direction of abilities that are usually inaccessible to intentional direction.

Viewed this way, my invocation of Goflowolfog is very like the prayer of the faithful, the visualization of those devoted to The Secret, the spell work of Wiccans, and countless other systems, past and present, that promise some uncanny effect in the all-that-is.

Finally, there is a possible weird effect of Goflowolfog knowledge that may cast light on the birth and death of religions. Consider: when almost no one knows about Goflowolfog, it is probably harder to benefit from his powers. One person in a traffic jam, cuing and signaling, will have very little to work with when it comes to easing traffic. On the other hand, if everyone is busily invoking the entity, then their efforts will cancel each other out and nothing will change. Somewhere between the two extremes is a sweet spot, where the devotees of Goflowolfog unknowingly work with each other to ease their individual routes through traffic.

Might not religions have a similar arc? They are born weak, build power as they add followers and thereby generate miracles and then, as they become consensus reality, the dramatic powers they once commanded are vitiated.

So please, will just a few of you, not too many, begin to call on Goflowolfog? It will make my subjective experience of traffic so much nicer.

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Tagged as: belief systems, magick, occult, weird beliefs